Emotional affairs always sound more loaded than any old run-of-the-mill affair. There’s something about the intimacy of being emotional with a person other than your spouse or partner. All cheating is cheating, of course, but emotional affairs always feel trickier to work around, writes Sam Darby.

So she got 11 people to open about the moment they realized they were having an emotional affair. It’s an interesting, and eye-opening, read.

“I don’t think I’m alone in feeling conflicting emotions about being a mother,” writes Morgan Flaherty. “My daughter is both the best part of my life and has also changed every single element of it drastically… There’s a certain amount of guilt that comes with admitting all of this, but I think it’s also essential for parents to talk about the importance of holding space for all these things. It’s also because of these feelings that I feel so strongly about this: Being a mother should be a choice.”